Life, Leadership and Business

Sunday, 28 October 2018

Yes, bullying is wrong. So?

Yes , bullying is wrong! Yes, something needs to be done about it!

The answer starts at home. Yes, at home.

Bullying is no more than it's always been. Nothing has changed about kids cruel remarks and hurtful jests.  So, why are so many kids committing suicide or wrecking their lives because if it?

The response to bullying is worse now because there is less support at home and kids have less confidence in themselves, unsure of their "I am".

Modern parents are not as involved in kids lives as they once were. We dont have sit down family dinners any more, where individuals feel part of a tribe: heard, appreciated, valued and backed.

It's not that parents don't want to involve themselves, but it's hard when everyone is immersed in mini screens that offer a window into perfect worlds far far away.

As kids, we were pushed out the door and told to go play. We did sport without our parents pushing us. We explored the world without being forced. We had interests other than Facebook. In this process we gained confidence in who we were, appreciation for what we could do, and an understanding on who to trust. Our childhood gave us a thick skin and an attitude to boot.

These days  all of that is done for our kids on their phones or by their parents.  Kids now don't develop thick skins and dogged determination, because nothing is expected from them, except to live out parents failed deeams. As a result they fail to develop internal mechanisms to help over come bullying, failure,  and rejection. They dont discover the value of having a personal identity, never getting in touch with their own I am.

I was teased and mocked my whole life for big ears and shunned because i thought differently. All of that is stuff that serves me well today. Going home teased and mocked, to parents that cared but didn't fuss, let me figure out who I was and how i wanted to relate to the world. They didnt solve my problems or make it about them, the school or even the bullies.

Mom, dad, dont wrap too much tissue paper around your little ones, it's hard to remove when some little wanker at school sets it alight. Those scars are lasting, more so than the little plaster you may have to put on from time to time as they get scratched and bruised, discovering the world ... for themselves.
Just let them know you love unconditionally and no matter what happens they can come home to warm food, a soft bed and unreserved love. Let them slip and fall a bit, mom. Tease them without breaking their  character, dad. Falling isn't all bad, just dont let them hit rock bottom.

And you, kid, put down the phone. Go outside. Learn to occupy yourself in the real world. Learn to put little peoples opinion of you into perspective. Seek and value the opinion of those that really matter, that really have your back.

Those that love you will speak truth in kindness, those that dont love you will speak truth ruthlessly, but its all just truth. Learn from it. Grow. Get a thick skin. Dont take it all seriously. laugh, at yourself, laugh at circumstances. Most of all, learn. Take what you need to grow from the bully, and then stand up.

Not everyone will like you, and that's okay, because you wont like everyone either, so suck it up.

Find a dream you can chase, one that you can choose to be loyal to, no matter what. When the days are dark, friends are few and the hurt is choking you, you'll see that dream wont leave you!

With your thick skin on, eyes open, grasp that dream tightly and boldy walk into tomorrow, strong in your own "I am."

The truth is: bullying is a scourge in our society, but we dont cure it from without. Our solution starts from within. Finding your "I am" will still the storm around you, giving you hope and expectation for a new tomorrow.

If you cant find that peace within, please,  for heavens sake, speak up.  Speak to someone that can help you find your peace. Please.

Ending a life because little people  cant see your worth is not the answer... Finding your worth in yourself is ...

If I cant help you, I have many friends, counsellors trained to help you, just speak up, but please, Lets hear from you!