"You're procrastinating!"
How many times has someone said this to you? How often have you said it to yourself?
You know it's true at some level, but somehow it doesn’t feel like procrastination. It's not that you are putting off what you need to do, it's more like you don't know what to do.
You searched the internet for advice to overcome procrastination because you feel obliged to and hoped to find solutions. You downloaded stuff and worked to overcome it, but oh my goodness, nothing seems to work.
So, here's a thought, if all of the remedies you use fail to bring relief, maybe you are not procrastinating. Maybe you have stagnated. Yes, there is a difference.
The techniques to overcome procrastination will certainly not address stagnation. What's worse is that the anti-procrastination advice will probably make the stagnant individual feel depressed and anxious.
The two traits look the same on the surface, but you will notice they are different once you start analysing them.
People procrastinate when they know what they need to do but avoid doing it. We dodge the tasks we hate doing, such as visiting the dentist. We put off responsibilities that have potential negative impacts, such as completing a tax return.
Stagnation is different. People stagnate when they don't know how to move forward. They do pointless chores because they are at a loss, unaware of tasks needed to take them to the next level.
We procrastinate when we know what we are supposed to do, and the use of deadlines ensures we will do it...eventually. Procrastination is overcome by self-discipline, but stagnation requires a different level of introspection, research, honesty and personal development to overcome.
Once we have looked at the apparent differences, we understand why the advice to resolve procrastination cannot work for stagnation. To offer effective advice to someone that is stuck we need to investigate the cause of their stagnation.
Here are four origins of stagnation:
1. You don't know what you want.
The most common response in coaching sessions to the question, "What do you want," is a detailed list of what people DON’T want.
"That's nice, Bob. Now, please tell me what DO you want." People don't know what they want from life and they don't know where to go, so they stagnate. Until you define what you want and where you want to go, you will stay in the same place.
People avoid selecting a destination for many reasons:
- repeated or intense disappointment has eroded their hope
- they don't feel worthy of success
- people are unaware of their capabilities and embrace mediocrity
- they believe they need the right qualifications or resources before they start
- they are afraid of the unknown
- they are scared to fail
Great! Now that you have identified what is holding you back, you can address it and move on.
The fact is; the destination will define the path. If you have no destination, there can be no path. Pick a destination, an outcome, a goal … pick something, and the path to get there will become clear.
2. You know what you want but you don't know how to get there
To show the route on a GPS, it needs to know where you are and where you want to go. The device will detect your current location, then plot the path to the desired destination - and away you go. Simple.
So, if you have a destination but don't know how to get there, ask yourself if you know where you are starting. A little introspection allows our Vision-GPS to locate our position on the map, which is needed to plan the route to success.
Take stock of where you are, who you are, where you have been and what you have. This process will highlight what you have to achieve the outcome, and it will point out what you are missing or need to move forward.
3. You're wrong about where you are in the process
"Oh, but John, I know where I am, but I still don't know what to do next."
There are two possible reasons for your dilemma, you are wrong about your current location, or you are unclear about the destination. Both reasons are a result of poor clarity.
People have lied to me in coaching sessions about their qualifications or life experience to look better or … ja, I don't know.
You need brutal honesty and clarity about both where you are and where you want to go. If you are unclear about either the start or end, you will stagnate. Seek clarity.
4. You have resigned yourself to the circumstances
This origin produces many excuses, such as:
- I don't have the resources to do it
- I am not in the correct position to do it
- It's not the right time
- I am too busy at work
- My relationship doesn't allow it
- I am comfortable where I am
- I don't want to make the effort
Whatever the excuse, you have accepted your circumstances. Allowing your circumstances to dictate your life … well, there is not much I can say about it except – it is a choice you made. Until you choose something else for your life, you will remain stagnant.
To encourage better choices, maybe you should define an attractive alternative future – really attractive! Plan something so beautiful that you willingly give up your status quo to pursue this new destination.
Whatever the cause of your stagnation, recognising its origin is the first step to help yourself out of the hole. The second step is planning how to move forward. The third step is to put your plan into action – do it!
