I am my own prisoner

 I am my own Kidnapper!

My divorce 8 years ago was a messy and traumatic event. I crawled out with a broken spirit, no self image and very little desire for anything. 

 For a long time I allowed that defeat to rule my life, causing me to lose jobs and flake in relationships. I became a second-class citizen in my own life, believing that the divorce settlement held me at ransom, held me as a prisoner against my will. 

 We all have an event or incident in our past that broke us a little. You might even be living in those circumstances now, somewhere that makes you feel trapped and choiceless. 

 We believe that the event or circumstance took away our options, forcing our hand, pushing us up against the proverbial wall. We justify our pathetic attitude, our resignation from life, the "kidnapping" by saying: "I felt like I had no option. This is all that was available to me." 

We become our own kidnapper. 

Although it is true that we cant always control what happens to us, we can definitely control how we respond. 

It's the power in that truth that woke me up one day to the reality - niether the settlement, the ex or my circumstances had kidnapped me. I took myself ransom by believing that I had no alternatives. I imprisoned myself in shitty circumstances and then blamed everything but me. 

It's time to shake off the psuedo chains and depression. It's time to make a choice to live. 

I made the change in my own life (with some help of course) by taking the following 3 steps: 

1. See things as they really are. Honestly evaluate your circumstances, focusing on the painful realities that make you believe you are a prisoner. 

2. Recognize your truth because it will set you free. Look at your circumstances and ask yourself what do you know that you wouldn't like to know. Maybe it's the role you played in creating your kidnapping. Maybe it's a dark truth about character flaws. Maybe it's a heavy secret you carry that protects someone else. Recognize the truth, spot the light on it, and the shadows will fade. 

3. Recognize your joy and chase it. Kidnapping yourself forces you to sacrifice things that you really want. We are prisoners after all. So now that you're free, pursue your joys. Allow yourself to have experiences that make you happy. 

As you speak truth and open yourself to joy, the chains will fall, you will come out of hiding and you will take your rightful place in the light. Options will become apparent, and you will discover that you do have a choice. 

It is your time to shine.