Needy Leader – The Flip Side

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Needy Leader – The Flip Side

AVOID being a NEEDY Leader (part 2)

The needy leader forms one leg of the Drama Triangle. What is the Drama Triangle? The needy leader creates drama by viewing all the people that surround him or her in one of two categories – Victim or Persecutor as discussed in Part 1. Below is a Drama Triangle Diagram:

AVOID being a NEEDY Leader

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AVOID being a NEEDY Leader!

Leader is almost synonymous with Role Model. People look to Leaders to set an example, to lead the way. People draw strength and encouragement from leaders. So, the pressure is on the Leader to be reliable, consistent and to act with integrity.  Imagine the devastation and harm a needy leader could cause.

When a leader decides that their own worth and value is based on the position they hold, they quickly descend into a dark place that makes leadership ugly. Manipulative, controlling and praise-seeking become hallmarks of a needy leader. Even good people walk on a slippery slope that could take them into the role of a needy leader. So, how does a well-meaning leader avoid becoming needy?

4 Principles of "Buy-In"

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Principles of Buy-In

Developing a following is not as simple as one may think. Having a cause, a concept or a project where you need the help of others will require them to “buy-in” to your vision. I have watched many leaders and entrepreneurs sweat to get jus a small handful of followers. This initial phase of little to no acceptance can cause leaders to doubt in themselves and/or the cause for which they stand, and becomes the turning point when they crack and slink into the “number 2 position,” wounded and humiliated.

Don’t let your leadership capacity get whipped into believing you were meant to play second-in-command to someone else’s leadership. Neither you nor the world will benefit from this victim mentality. Stay strong and push until you get a break through. Listed below are a few useful principles that will help you remain strong and focused during times of little or no support:

Leader, show them the picture.

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Leader, show them the picture.

 Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be paid to dream? Of course it would, and that’s why we have Leaders – to dream! The higher the level of leadership you hold, the more likely your job is dreaming about the future.

The primary role of a leader is to hold up the picture of the dreamed future while the team puzzles the pieces together.  Understanding the picture and how to communicate it are valuable skills that will ensure a Leaders success. A Leader must be a visionary and should be able to translate that vision into action.

4 Keys for Leadership Connection

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4 Keys for Leadership Connection

Leadership success is related to a Leader’s ability. The more abilities the leader has, the more likely the Leader is to succeed. One of these abilities required by the Leader is the ability to connect to people. A leader needs to touch the hearts of followers before asking them to put their hands to work.

Many people immediately get defensive when they hear a Leader must “Care”. Visions of getting personally involved in the daily details of others lives, carrying burdens and sharing tears put people off getting involved in “caring”. Although a Leader will share these types of intimate moments with inner circle followers or advisors, it is not necessary for the Leader to become an emotional prostitute and ship wreck their personal lives for the sake of being a caring success.

Quality Inner Circle Makes Quality Leadership

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Quality Inner Circle Makes Quality Leadership

Even a Fuel Tanker needs to stop for fuel at some point! Leaders need to have a place where they can pit stop, rest, recuperate, learn and get some advice, without being judged, criticised or measured. The Support Group for the Leader could be a friends and supporters within the team itself, or they could be people the Leader values spread far and abroad in whom the Leader confides.

3 Obstacles to Empowering Others

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3 Obstacles to Empowering Others

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and the self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” Theodore Roosevelt.

The confusing thing is the Leader must fully own the vision in order to succeed, but the Leader must also share the vision by releasing it into the hands of others to achieve greatness. Empowerment of others is the Leaders most challenging task that will possibly bring some of the greatest rewards.