John's Blog

Looking around, you will witness a lot of polarity in this world.  Polarity means: for every up there is a down, For every inside there is an outside, For every high there is a low.  Sometimes, these opposite are obvious, but sometimes, these opposites are harder to spot.  Many a therapy session I conduct is with people battling deep lows, unaware that these troubles are not demons, but rather self inflicted balance to their pursuit of frequent highs.  The most common polarity I witness, invisible to most, results in people easily embracing mediocrity, and missing success. This seeming oxymoron is fuelled, I'm told by the average, by the paralysing fear of failure.  Oh sausage! Failure isn't the polarity of success. Failure is an inherent part of the process to success. One simply must fail in order to learn, grow, and win.  What is keeping you from the success you so desire is fear itself. The fear has got you labelling failure negatively,...

Don't busy yourself with the "how" of your success, rather invest in the details of "what". And before you tell me you need the "how" to get results, do something for me... make your left hand into a duck-face, and let it quack 3 or 4 times. Now, how did you do that?  Yes yes, you can tell me about nerves and messages, and muscle control. .. but, howwwwww? You don't know, do you?  You just swallowed ... how? Blinked, breathed, and farted... how? How did you do these things? You maybe know the biology of the mechanism, but how? Ninety percent of what we do daily is handled by our subconscious mind. We merely think about the "outcome" or result, and our unconscious mind sets about implementing systems to achieve that result.  Why can't we use this efficient system to achieve our life goals? 🤷‍♂️ Well, that's the point! You can and should allow this mechanism to help achieve all that you want in life.  How?  Use ...

Let's just be clear on this once and for all: Hard work alone will help you pay bills, but won't fulfil your dreams.  I know of and deeply respect hard working individuals that are slogging it out to provi4de the necessities for their families. But hardwork alone will not make you rise above your circumstances. Look around you: how many hard working people do you know are struggling?  Faith on the other hand stirs the dream, instills hope, fans the flames - but faith alone makes you nothing more than a daydreamer.  Those rare individuals that soar with eaglesare the ones that have figured the unique balance between hard work and the power of faith.  Effort alone makes you a slave.  Faith alone makes you a dreamer.  Faith and Effort fulfil all your ambitions!

A musician sits at a piano, carefully selecting specific keys from the 88 that are available, to create a song that will touch hearts. The keys not played seem invisible, ignored and unimportant, but are just as involved in the performances as the played keys. The untouched notes lend scale and harmony to the heard song, in the same way night-fall dances with day-break, in the same way the mountain gives grace to the valley, in the same way back supports front. Looking in the mirror is like sitting down at the piano knowing all 88 keys are available. You are full, complete, and endowed with all things needed for life and godliness. When you play the melody of your life, the roles, characteristics, and expressions you choose to ignore, are as much part of you as the ones that touch the heart of others.

Wait now, Sausage. Let's just unravel this quickly. When peering into the mirror,  we were taught to look beyond the reflection, to deep, deep within the soul of the face staring back. We were taught to search in ourselves what we could become. This lesson then forged a path of constant change for us. We nip, tuck, chisel and chop our way through life to reveal the gem we once saw, hidden in the depths of our reflection. In the process, we sacrifice our true identity and align with "Human Becomings". We ought to look in the mirror and see who we really are, walk away and live up to that image - a Human Being - a true expression of a perfect creation, called you.

Regain a sense of wonder: Surrendering to a concept of an "automatic" life between cradle and crematorium makes people take their existence for granted. The "normal" people shun the curious souls that gawk at mans place in the universe, and at the existence of God. The "normal" man doesn't want to think about these things, because when he speaks of them, his words are confusing, even to him, because he simply doesn't understand. The curious souls dont waste energy constructing words to explain the universe, because their understanding of such isnt found in language, but in feelings. When you consider your existence on this rock, flying around a spherical fire, out in a lonely corner of the universe - as an odd occurrence,  you start to feel a sense of respect.  What a strange situation life is, don't you agree? Once you respect your existemce (even though you are unable to explain it) and this unusual occurrence called life, you st...

"Pieces are missing!" I mumbled as I sifted through the pile of heart and mind bits on the floor. "Maybe, or you never had those pieces before," the spirit of wisdom chuckled to himself. My heart had exploded into fragments when i first met her. Then, when she smiled, my mind crumbled in awe of her grace,  eloquence, and beauty. In the aftermath of our meeting, I scrambled to reassemble a functioning existence. Unsure of which pieces went where, I had a feeling bits of me were missing. "Maybe," the jesting spirit continued, "maybe she has the bits you need?" I shot a look in the spirit's direction, hoping for  a  clue, but got none. "Pffft!" I dismissed his comment as a ruse, but secretly, internally, I flung myself to the feet of hope. Im not able to share how she feels, but I can tell you this: the sound of her voice yanks my world from blood into grey, and a glimpse of her smile wrings the grey into daybreak.

In this world of exaggerated ambition, what is the true opposite of success? Failure? At first, it would seem so, but take a momemt to consider the common light bulb. Legend has it that Thomas Edison, the light bulb patent owner, had ten thousand failed attempts at the now-common-household necessity,  before making a working prototype. In an interview in 1936, a reporter asked Mr Edison about the ten thousand attempts, wondering if such numbers was a sign to quit.  Mr Edison replied with: "Either I win or I learn. I learned ten thousand ways on how not to do it." These words reveal Mr Edison's feelings that failure is not the opposite of  success, but an inherent part of the success process. The fact is, You WILL fail a few times at the start of a new adventure, but will you win and will you learn? Sportsmen and women call these failed attemots and learning curves -  "practice." So, back to the original question: what is the true opposite of success...

The fears we nurture become self fulfilling prophecies. Isn't it true that when standing on the verge of a new journey, and you imagine potential perils preventing your happy arrival, that you never successfully complete that journey? Have you noticed how the fears of getting hurt that surface at the start of a new romance turn into the very storm that sinks the relation ship? It seems to me that in life we get not that which we hope or pray for, but rather, we manifest that for which we prepare. Maybe life isn't a journey with a fixed destination, nor about a relationship with a definitive purpose. Maybe life is meant to be more of a dance. When two dancers get onto the floor, they don't pick a specific spot on which to end the dance. They go with the music, allowing the magic of the flow to carry them, stopping when the time is right. Maybe Life offers you music with no specific destination in mind, free of all contrived fears, and calls on you to merely danc...

Leaders emerging from successful teams all echo this sentiment - “It wasn’t quite what I had hoped for, but it turned out better than expected.” Working in a team will defy what you expected, and it will move beyond what you had hoped. As the team takes on a life and a personality of its own, leaders and members must place their desire for “my way” on pause, allowing the uniqueness of what the team brings to flow. Working in a team will even defy the more inclusive mindset of “our way.” Teamwork should, and indeed must, give rise to the “team’s way.” By insisting on “my way,” the leader turns the team into nothing more than a group of labourers. This mindset robs team members of ownership, and ultimately separates them from the vision. Barking instructions at people that scurry off to do your bidding doesn’t make you a leader. The people that obey your commands without question are not your team. This forced labour may bring satisfaction to one, but not to the whole. If autocratic...

Groups vs. Teams A leader emerges when a team gathers to accomplish any sort of objective. A handful of key principles will assist a leader to lay a good foundation for his or her personal leadership style. Understanding the difference between a group and a team will help the leader identify where the team is in the development process. Listed below are some differences between groups and teams: - The biggest difference is that groups are people united by a common cause, but are not productive. United by a common cause, teams work to achieve a common goal. - Groups are motivated but directionless, whereas teams are motivated and have a clear direction, with clear goals. - Groups mull around with no leader, with no specific role for any individual. Teams define specific roles and clear responsibilities for each member. - A group draws individuals by their interest in a shared cause, while a team selects individuals for their skills and abilities to accomplish specific outco...

The Huntsman Example “The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.”                    Ray Kroc People knew what to expect from the Huntsman as he had arranged many hunts before. He was a well-organised hunter and expected discipline within the rider’s ranks. People also knew the Huntsman and his wife were bona fide hosts, providing refreshments before, during, and after the hunt, for humans and animals alike. People of all riding competencies were comfortable in the knowledge that the Huntsman wouldn’t expect them to make jumps, or gallop at speeds that they were not able to handle. The Huntsman always found routes that challenged people’s skills without breaking their courage. A kind and patient man, the Huntsman placed the safety of the people, horses, and dogs before the achievement of the goal. Some of the leadership behaviours displayed extended from the Huntsman’s natural ability, some ...

A mission worthy of value With money too tight to mention, most people work to survive, with mission a million miles from their mind. On special occasions, people reach for the vision they hold dear, even though it is cobwebbed, starved, and fading. They squeeze out a dose of hope and put the vision back on the shelf of "maybe someday.” The majority of people do not live out their mission daily. This does not interfere with the fact they have a bold, shiny, meaningful vision, like my friend Steven. The ugly reality is that people without a mission rarely, if ever, get the chance to attain their vision. I only discovered the power of mission in my forties and now frantically labour to play catch up. Don’t allow yourself to walk the same path as I did, learn from my mistake. Learn from my message, which is - foster a healthy mission from as early as possible, for as long as possible. As a young boy, the Huntsman preferred to be outdoors. His parents introduced him to hobbies...