John's Blog

  The Power of Your Inner Voice: A Guide to Personal Development Your inner voice is one of the most profound mental tools you possess. It’s your constant companion, shaping your thoughts, guiding your decisions, and influencing your emotions.  Yet, this mysterious presence often gets misunderstood. Some might label it as self-doubt or negativity, but your inner voice isn’t inherently evil. In fact, when harnessed correctly, it becomes a critical ally in your journey toward personal growth and sustainable success. In this blog post, we’ll explore what the inner voice truly is, dispel myths about its nature, and share five actionable ways to use your inner voice to elevate your life.  What Is the Inner Voice? The inner voice is the stream of thoughts, ideas, and reflections that runs through your mind. It’s the voice that narrates your life, comments on your actions, and processes the world around you. Psychologists often refer to it as "self-talk." Far from being an...

Making decisions can be tough. From small decisions, such as what to have for breakfast, to life-changing decisions, like which career path to take or whether to start a family, making choices can be stressful. Our choices can have a significant impact on our lives, and it’s essential to make informed and thoughtful decisions that align with our values and beliefs. One way to make decision-making easier is by using your values as a guide. What are values? Values are the ethical and moral principles that an individual deems important and holds dear. They influence the decision-making process and shape the behaviours and actions of individuals. Values can be intrinsic, meaning they are an inherent part of an individual's personality, or they can be learned and developed through personal experiences and cultural, societal, or religious influences. Values are an essential aspect of an individual's identity and play a crucial role in guiding decision-making and behaviour. Identifyin...

  We walk in darkness to cloak our brokenness, but the light is calling. Trauma, rejection and scarcity aren't just events in our history, but they are evil alchemists too. This nasty trio turns your mental juices into depression, makes your heart circulate bitterness, and turns your hope to expect only failure - for one reason only - to keep you in the dark. We mistakenly believe that darkness is our friend and will tend to our wounds, but the darkness only lets them fester. Darkness keeps us separated from others too, just in case someone points out our weakening state and offers real help, real solutions, real love. It's in light that we find healing. It is in light that we discover our worth. Yes, I know that those that hand a hand in breaking you claimed to represent the light. But it remains, in their brokenness, their attempts to help you failed. Forgive them. Forgive them and seek your wholeness. We can't find it by night. We find it in the light. We find o...

The biggest obstacle in search of a "better life" is not found in the environment, but inside of you!  Your greatest challenge in search of fulfullment has been and always will be your self talk, your inner voice or mind mutter.   Mind mutter is to you the same as the ocean is to fish. Fish aren't conscious of the water that regulates their lives ... that is, until they try to fly.   With a splash, flying fish realise they are eternally bound to water, dependant on it to breathe, eat, and move - as you are to your inner voice, as you live a life governed by it. Don't believe me? Try this as an experiment: stand in front of a mirror for a moment, connect with yoursellf in the reflection, then say: "I deserve a better life."  If you're lucky, your internal voice will agree wholeheartedly, offering advice to achieve a better life. For most people however, the response is more likely to be: "Hahahahah! Who do you think you are wanting a better life?...

Get out of the box - Part 4 - Fear of the unknown.    The most common barrier to getting out of the box of complacency is the fear of the unknown. When encountering this fear in others, you must know that they have not planned!    Planning removes the impact of the "unknown" element, and replaces it with "calculated risk."    People wrongly believe that they can just "wing it" through this life, and still enjoy the benefits of success. Nothing could be further from the truth.    Winging it through life is like standing up on a public platform to do an unprepared speech - it results in a lot of incoherent rambling that goes nowhere and means nothing.   When asked to prepare for a thirty minute speech at Cambridge University, Winston Churchill said he needed two weeks to prepare. When asked how long he would need to prepare for a two hour speech, he replied "I'm ready now."    Life is like a thirty minute speech, it ne...

In the dying seconds of the game, the team's star player does a twist, fooling the opponent. The star sidesteps another challenger, and with a flourish - scores again!    In the after-game interview, the star player tells how being in the "zone" gave them "move-prediction" powers, supported by super strength and stamina, making winning a sure thing.     As "fans" we swoon at the thought of our star's abilities on the field, and at their charisma off it.    With glittery admiration we wish, oh, we so wish we were them for a day! Would you want to have the skills and abilities of a great sportsman or woman for a day?    Would you like to jog onto the pitch, walk into the office, or swagger into the arena, knowing you were empowered with your hero's abilities, skills, or focus? Of course you would! We all would like some hero's ability in one form or another! That's not the question we should be asking. The real question is: wh...

"All your arty words and clever philosophies mean nothing to me.   "Your 'I am' and 'peronal truth' crap has no relevance in my life, or anyone elses for that matter.   "I work and live in the real world. I have what I want and I'm slowing down for my old age.   "I don't need you and all your motivational bullshit, because I'm already motivated." He smugly sipped his beer and slumped into his chair.   "Check!"  Previously, I would have kept quiet, and left the ignorant to their devices. However, this is the year of the teaspoon. So, buckle up buttercup, because here comes a stirring.   "You sit confident in the things you have amassed in life; car, house and a seemingly secure job.  "You are lulled into complacency by objects that break, rust and are stolen, and think you're better off for it. Really?   "You think 'I am' is empty and disconnected, when your view of self is direc...

Truth and Deception may be opposites on the scale of "desirable," but they are grossly enmeshed by a great equalizer called 'self.'     Self Deception is the two-faced enemy of our success. The first face is deception that we are not 'good enough.' We conjure up lies about our worth that works magic to keep us dumb, pathetic, and purposeless.     Once we break free from the depressing shackles of self doubt, by realising the Sea of Potential we possess is enough to overcome any limitation - we suddenly meet the second face of Self Deception.     This cunning enemy comes as our 'friend', stroking our ego and allowing us to wallow is self glorification, believing we are greater than we actually are.     In this delusion of Grandeur, we adopt self -awarded titles reserved for recognition by others, like 'leader' or 'influencer', which inflate our arrogance and sharpens the axe of pride that will eventually cut us down to size....

Being honest and walking in your truth are two very different things.   Most people are quick to pick out honesty as a quality they want in others, all with good reason.   We want people to be honest about their intentions and actions in relationships. No one wants to expose their heart only to realise we've been played.  Honesty allows us to trust the owner of the hand we shake in a business deal. Honesty puts our hearts at ease, knowing where are loved ones are really, and what they are doing.    As much as we want and offer honesty, how many people actually walk in their own truth?    Walking your truth is realising your shadow, and owning it. Truth is recognising your full potential, and polishing it.   Truth is understanding the greatness of your dreams, and preaching it. How open and forthcoming are you about your hope's, dreams and ambitions? How frank are you with what you believe about God, love, life and other concepts t...

How well would you fare in the Dragon's Den?  Inspired by the TV show, where entrepreneurs stand in front of potential investors to ask for money for a share of the business, I started to wonder ...  Not that I'm starting a company and need investment. No, I wondered how I would fare in front of a panel pitching me, and what I believe about the world and all in it. I'm not one to be easily swayed by the opinions of others. I past needing validation from people a long time ago. I wanted to know: if I was "the company," would people choose to invest or not. Cowardness, or fear of the truth or (maybe) both, caused me to forego a panel of real people. Instead I elected a panel of mirrors.  I took the tall, thin mirror from the hallway. In my mind this mirror represent a tall, thin man, experienced in business, especially finance, intelligent, and maybe a little mean and a little cold.  I took the rectangular mirror with its pine frame from the bathroom....

Looking around, you will witness a lot of polarity in this world.  Polarity means: for every up there is a down, For every inside there is an outside, For every high there is a low.  Sometimes, these opposite are obvious, but sometimes, these opposites are harder to spot.  Many a therapy session I conduct is with people battling deep lows, unaware that these troubles are not demons, but rather self inflicted balance to their pursuit of frequent highs.  The most common polarity I witness, invisible to most, results in people easily embracing mediocrity, and missing success. This seeming oxymoron is fuelled, I'm told by the average, by the paralysing fear of failure.  Oh sausage! Failure isn't the polarity of success. Failure is an inherent part of the process to success. One simply must fail in order to learn, grow, and win.  What is keeping you from the success you so desire is fear itself. The fear has got you labelling failure negatively,...

Don't busy yourself with the "how" of your success, rather invest in the details of "what". And before you tell me you need the "how" to get results, do something for me... make your left hand into a duck-face, and let it quack 3 or 4 times. Now, how did you do that?  Yes yes, you can tell me about nerves and messages, and muscle control. .. but, howwwwww? You don't know, do you?  You just swallowed ... how? Blinked, breathed, and farted... how? How did you do these things? You maybe know the biology of the mechanism, but how? Ninety percent of what we do daily is handled by our subconscious mind. We merely think about the "outcome" or result, and our unconscious mind sets about implementing systems to achieve that result.  Why can't we use this efficient system to achieve our life goals? 🤷‍♂️ Well, that's the point! You can and should allow this mechanism to help achieve all that you want in life.  How?  Use ...

Let's just be clear on this once and for all: Hard work alone will help you pay bills, but won't fulfil your dreams.  I know of and deeply respect hard working individuals that are slogging it out to provi4de the necessities for their families. But hardwork alone will not make you rise above your circumstances. Look around you: how many hard working people do you know are struggling?  Faith on the other hand stirs the dream, instills hope, fans the flames - but faith alone makes you nothing more than a daydreamer.  Those rare individuals that soar with eaglesare the ones that have figured the unique balance between hard work and the power of faith.  Effort alone makes you a slave.  Faith alone makes you a dreamer.  Faith and Effort fulfil all your ambitions!

Wait now, Sausage. Let's just unravel this quickly. When peering into the mirror,  we were taught to look beyond the reflection, to deep, deep within the soul of the face staring back. We were taught to search in ourselves what we could become. This lesson then forged a path of constant change for us. We nip, tuck, chisel and chop our way through life to reveal the gem we once saw, hidden in the depths of our reflection. In the process, we sacrifice our true identity and align with "Human Becomings". We ought to look in the mirror and see who we really are, walk away and live up to that image - a Human Being - a true expression of a perfect creation, called you.

In this world of exaggerated ambition, what is the true opposite of success? Failure? At first, it would seem so, but take a momemt to consider the common light bulb. Legend has it that Thomas Edison, the light bulb patent owner, had ten thousand failed attempts at the now-common-household necessity,  before making a working prototype. In an interview in 1936, a reporter asked Mr Edison about the ten thousand attempts, wondering if such numbers was a sign to quit.  Mr Edison replied with: "Either I win or I learn. I learned ten thousand ways on how not to do it." These words reveal Mr Edison's feelings that failure is not the opposite of  success, but an inherent part of the success process. The fact is, You WILL fail a few times at the start of a new adventure, but will you win and will you learn? Sportsmen and women call these failed attemots and learning curves -  "practice." So, back to the original question: what is the true opposite of success...

Yes , bullying is wrong! Yes, something needs to be done about it! The answer starts at home. Yes, at home. Bullying is no more than it's always been. Nothing has changed about kids cruel remarks and hurtful jests.  So, why are so many kids committing suicide or wrecking their lives because if it? The response to bullying is worse now because there is less support at home and kids have less confidence in themselves, unsure of their "I am". Modern parents are not as involved in kids lives as they once were. We dont have sit down family dinners any more, where individuals feel part of a tribe: heard, appreciated, valued and backed. It's not that parents don't want to involve themselves, but it's hard when everyone is immersed in mini screens that offer a window into perfect worlds far far away. As kids, we were pushed out the door and told to go play. We did sport without our parents pushing us. We explored the world without being forced. We had int...

As part of accredited training, each person on course gets one-on-one feedback. In this feedback, I usually ask people at the start if they think they are competent in the skills learned. Normally, the response falls in one of two categories. Some people are confidant of their ability and say yes. Some people are hesitant, and squeeze a yes or a maybe out.  

Indulge me for a moment… If success is a numbers game, many attempts will surely guarantee success at some stage? What do you think? In light of the Disney of Destiny article, I have decided to challenge myself to produce 100 posts in 100 days. My main topic is leadership, but I don't plan to stick to it, I plan to write.   I am not a professional writer, and decided to see if I could actually do this. The posts will have the hash tag #100posts100days.  Join me. Not just in reading the posts, but in producing your own for 100 days. Tag your posts in comments below or tweet them with the afore mentioned hash tag and let creativity rule! 1. Surprise Visit from my Heart 2. The Dragon Whisperer 3. Disney's of Destiny  4. Are you as good as you think you are?