John's Blog

On a recent visit to a friends house, I met their baby boy of six months. Having arrived near the toddlers dinnertime, I got to witness the professional couple struggle to feed this "obviously contented" baby for more than an hour.  I watched as the couple bickered and argued about the best way to get baba to eat. They even resorted to tricking the kid, teasing him with a dummy, only to swap it with food at the last moment. He then promptly spat the food out with a giggle. He wasn't eating, simply because he wasn't hungry yet. But, knowing the benefits of timely nutrition, the new parents stumbled and plotted about ways to feed their child, hoping to give him a good start in life.  The most disturbing divide between people is not one of race, but the one between the "wants to" and the "does not want to" of the world, and that gap is big. These polar opposites are defined by those that want to make something of this life for themselves and b...

The most common topic people talk about around personal development is the meaning of life, "why exactly am I here?" Life is less about discovering purpose, and more about choosing a meaning to give to life. When a dog wakes up in the morning, it doesn't ponder the reason for being a dog. It didn't have to go on a quest to discover its purpose. The dog simply gets up and does doggy things, it has no choice in the matter Fortunately, or not, people get to choose their own purpose. For most, selecting a reason to live is frightening. The thought of committing to a single mission can be more intimidating than getting a permanent tattoo, or picking a partner, for life! Those seeking a life mission often seem to wait for the heavens to open, as they watch a beautiful white dove flutter down and land of their shoulder. With a voice like James Earl Jones, they then expect the divine messenger to tell them what to do in life. Life is more grounded than that, and pu...

Entrepreneur, manager, and politician are roles that each require it's own set of unique skills, but does not guarantee that the title holder is a leader.  A person gets the title of leader by way of birthing a vision. The leader was, is, and always will be the vision owner and curator, responsible for taking it from inception to completion, with the effective and efficient help of a team.  Anyone that feels strongly enough to act on a vision can lead. Having a vision obviously doesn't mean the person will be a good leader. Like any skill, leadership is loaded with various principles, strategies, and techniques, requiring study and practice to master.  Many visions lay dormant on the shelf of "one day," collecting dust. The owners of the " vision-in-storage" become reluctant to dust the vision off and make it happen, because they feel unworthy of the leader position.  Instead of letting your vision decay into "regret," equip yourself wi...

Manifesting your desire needs knowledge of three things; know where you've come from; know who you are; and know what you want.  Jack and Sally are a young couple struggling through a turbulent life, with hopes of better things to come. It's been a wrestle to get where they are now, and for the most part, they are positive the situation will eventually turn around.  Once in a while, Jack will sit down to check if he is steering his life in the right direction. On one such occasion, Jack spoke aloud to himself, asking: "why isn't my dream manifesting?" "Well, what is your dream," asked a little voice. Shocked by the question, Jack looked around for the source of the voice, eventually noticing a little ant watching him from the table.  Amused by the talking ant, Jack said, "I'm not sure what I want, but I know that I'm sick of the results I have." The ant studied Jack for a moment, and then asked, "Well, who are you? What ...

You cannot grow and improve inwardly, but remain stagnant outwardly.  The driven work endlessly to refine and reshape what they understand to be the soul, to better reflect devine intent. This work, can at times, become overwhelming, with no apparent end in sight. The goal too seems to be ever moving further and further away, dragging with it all hopes of sudden victory.  The drained glimpse over a weary shoulder, wishing to see relief's sweet approach. Occasionally, they scan the horizon, longing to see anything that resembles their "ship" coming home to dock. All the while they deliberately grow, forcing themselves into better moulds.  Faint not, seeker, for in due season you shall reap. The constant labour you exert to become great inwardly, prepares the road for greatness outwardly. Today, you stand in your work clothes, at the work bench, still toiling at and pondering about a more desired life. Tomorrow, sweaty and fatigued, you will open the door to more...

To you, one of God's unique little kids, I want to say that different does not mean seperate.  Often people sitting on the fringes of society feel disconnected from the rest of the world. They sit on the fringe because they are different, and others draw away. These are people that dont blindly accept tradition as truth, unwilling to conform just for the sake of agreement. These oddballs look at life from an angle that most ... well, let's just say, that most have never considered.  Fringe life is a lonely and a trying place. Even though most fringe-sitters have friends, it's a meeting-by-appointment arrangement, as the friends dont really want to expose others to the one-of-a-kind perspectives. So, "fringees" dont usually get invited to the big get-togethers, and live in solitude, sometimes by choice, sometimes not.  Take courage you special biscuits, I want to tell you something. The world in which we live is shaped by the odd dreams of artists and inv...

It's amazing how quickly carrying a kid on your back around the zoo can drain your energy and enthusiasm. The same is true for your vision, but the ones you piggyback don't always deserve the lift. Momentum-leeches will ride you like a vision-uber, with no interest in your goals, and will desert you when they get to their destination at your expense.   There are few things in life that are as infectiously beautiful as a playful puppy, a baby laughing, and someone with a vision. The energy and vibrancy oozing from a new visionary is attractive, designed to draw in a capable team, enthusiastic supporters, and willing sponsors.  Once your vision gains a little momentum, it gains the attention of those around you. Excitement, hope and structure drives you to your end picture, and attracts help and opportunities needed to turn your vision into reality. It also signals the momentum vampires to move in.   Arriving with fanfare, energy thieves blister you with complim...

Sometimes, love is like giving water to someone that has a cracked cup. They can't quench their thirst, because they are broken, and incapable of drinking the water.   People are offended when those of low self worth don't respond to love in an expected manner. The offence comes from the inherent belief that love cures all: "If I love a broken someone, they should heal, and blossom." Love does indeed heal all things, and it does make people whole, but sometimes that love isn't in a shape you recognise.  It's not hard to understand that people from different walks of life view success differently. Some people regard fast cars and big houses as symbols of winning. Others want success to create happy families and caring spouses. Both views of success are okay. So, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people need a different expression of, and respond differently to, love.  Many people accuse the "broken" of being selfish, even contro...

Hundreds of thousands of new ventures, fresh visions and infant businesses die, because the leader didn't know how to get it going. Of all the things your "new life" needs to survive, momentum is crucial.   Without a doubt, a clear future vision defines why we do it. Growth gurus want us to diligently sort a one year, a three year, and a ten year plan, because it's the "year of vision." Pffft! Those plans will be a fat load of useless if you dont action it tomorrow.  The saying, "objects at rest want to stay at rest," applies to your vision too. Have you noticed the tiny steps given by the strong man as he starts to pull the heavy truck? These little steps focus all his power to move the truck forward just an inch. Our vision needs tiny steps of focused power to get the first sign of movement. Focusing on just "the next step," creates the initial movement in our vision.  The following step will need less force to move the visi...

Asking someone to believe in their own greatness may be too much. Instead, ask them to believe in the calling, and the Caller.  A lone bush burning in the desert may not seem strange to some folks, but it caught the attention of the only person camping nearby as odd. Then, to make things really creepy, the bush spoke, nearly causing Moses to seek shelter inside his own belly button.   The story of God calling on Moses to lead the people of Israel out of Egyot strongly resonates within me, not that I've ever heard God speak from a burning bush. I like Moses's story, because it's so honest... funny, but honest. It represents the way in which so many of us respond to the calling on our lives.  The excuse Moses used to delay his calling was "I, I, s, stu, I stutt, I s, s, I stutter..." If only I could get dollar for every time someone used an excuse to get out of their calling, I'd be a gazillionaire! Even though he was raised in a royal house, our ...

We all look up to and admire a good leader, impressed by their skill, tenacity, and authenticity. We recognise that rallying people behind a single objective in a mutually beneficial way is extremely difficult. We even recognise that not everyone can be a good leader, and that it takes a special kind of person to fill leadership shoes.  So, why is it that we call leadership a "soft skill"? Why is it that a "leadership course" shouldn't be longer than four days? Why is it that the teaching of leadership, a skill globally recognised as prolific and difficult, is treated with such contempt? Maybe insecure people in leadership positions don't want competition and downplay proper training. Maybe labelling leadership as a soft skill was a marketing mistake made universities and educators.  Soft skills...! Don't talk stupid.  People don't enlist for leadership training for two main reasons: first, leadership is horribly misunderstood. Second, lead...

Let's take a moment to pause on this day, World Cancer day, and say, "I care," to those that continue to fight against the disease. We remember, and pay tribute to those that have fallen in this terrible battle.  World Cancer day offers the opportunity to highlight another subtle and deadly form of the disease, the cancer of caring. It has oozed it's way into the deepest fabric of our societies, infected the bone marrow of our social economies, and eats away at the very core of our coexistence. You may think the claim is crazy, and have possibly never noticed the symptoms, but I promise you; the disease has already infected you.   I first diagnosed the cancer at a breakfast with Ben. He is an elderly gentleman with a kind heart, and a lot of wisdom to share. Once a week, Ben and I go for breakfast at a popular restaurant chain. Each week, we are greeted by friendly faces always eager to wait at our table. As usual, Ben will greet each waiter by their name, mak...

"Overnight succes;" "so lucky;"and "instant fortune" are the excuses the lazy and uninspired slap on those that are successful, oblivious to the hours, the sacrifices, and the growth it took to reach the top.  "Let's imitate them," is a great strategy to duplicate success, but you can't start imitating where they are now in hopes of an equal results. You have to start at the same point they did and follow their original path.  All of a sudden success, fame, and fortune, with all the trimmings doesn't sound as attractive! "Oh, it's still attractive, it's just the 'effort' thing that's not going to happen."  The general population would rather slog it out for a boss, in poverty, before they invest time, effort, and education in their own success. "I'm tired" is the greatest motivator of the unmotivated to do nothing in life.   The perception is that life and success needs work, cre...

Walking along a desolate sandbar on the shores of an Indian river, Payeng's heart broke as he wept aloud for the death he witnessed.  All forms of reptiles and birds had died of exposure to a terrible storm on the river banks just days before. The cruel sandbank offered the animals no protection from the elements.    Fourteen year old Payeng went home and devised a plan. It was simple, he would plant and nurture saplings on the desolate sandbank until there was enough habitat to offer protection to all the animals. This plan would also prevent soil erosion on the largest river island, Majuli.  Thirty years later, Mr. Payeng has planted enough trees to create a forest covering 550 hectors, the equivalent of fifteen football stadiums. The Molai forest, created by Payeng, is now home to deer, tigers, rabbits, birds and more. How is this possible?  The dedication of one person to do something each day that may only make a small difference in the moment,...

There are no hop, skip, or jumps to greatness. Success in life is a systematic process, where one step follows the next. You can turn the speed dial any way you like, but you can't miss steps.  Have you heard the one where the computer programmer comes home with six cartons of milk. His wife, with a belligerent look on her face , says: "I told you to bring one carton of milk, and if they have apples, bring six." "Exactly," said the husband.  The husband and programmer, in this story followed his wife's instructions in the same way that he would program a computer. A computer carries out instruction one line at a time. If the supermarket didn't have apples, he would have brought home only one milk carton. This addition to the computers instruction is called a "condition."  Some people would argue that the wife implied that the husband should bring home six apples if the store had them in stock. Yes, this was implied, but a computer...

You have never seen your own face! You have only seen a reflection of your face! This is the reason using a mentor is critical to your personal and leadership development.   Well, not the exact reason, but it relates, strongly, to the reason you need a mentor.    Because our eyes are a part of our face, essentially - in our face, looking out - we never actually see our face. We use a mirror as an aid for feedback as to show us how presentable we are... or aren't.   The mirror is not us, it will never be us. It can't decide what we should look like or what we should wear. A mirror merely reflects back to us the image we present to the world. It let's us see hair out of place, sleep crust in the corner of the eyes, and reflects back the radiant, or not, smile that we give others.   The primary role of a mentor, like the mirror, is to reflect back the image we present to the world through our vision, mission, goals, hope's and dreams. https://ww...

So, imagine you're the winner on a game show and you get to choose your own prize. The options are a bottle of water and a fat diamond. Which would you choose?  The answer is obvious... the diamond, of course.  Okay, let's change the situation. Imagine that you were lost in the desert for a few blistering hot days, and suffer from dehydration. Which one would you choose between the bottle of water and the diamond this time? The diamond would be of little value to you, as you are lost, dying, and unsure you would get out of the desert alive. In this situation, you value the bottle of water more than the diamond. This method of putting a value of something, is called utility value. Utility is the value of an object, knowledge or a person, determined by how useful it/they are in the "now" situation. This way of valuing something also offers an insight to Maslow's hierarchy of Needs model.  Most people live by utility, and plod around Maslows lower levels of...

In a direct but empty competition for "King of the Castle" between vision and mission, mission wins, hands down!   Before you drag me to the gallows, let's look at what we should know about both vision and mission.   Mission is the skills and task we perform daily to achieve an outcome, like a fisherman selecting the right tackle and bait, casting to the right spot and owning enough patience to wait for the fish to bite.   Your mission can evolve as you gain mastery in the related skills and tasks, but it will always look the same, like a fisherman progressing from standing on the shore catching tiddly winks, to owning a boat catching once-in-a-life monsters - it's all still fishing!   Vision is the "hooray" to missions "hip hip." Vision is the shiny outcome that we aim at, like the fisherman aiming to catch one hundred fish in just one hundred days - and doing it!!    Vision is the bright chrome and brilliant paint job on our fancy car,...

So, I believe my mission in life is to play the role of a teaspoon.  Yes, you read that correctly. Why a teaspoon, you ask. When making a cup of coffee, you put all the ingredients in the cup, and then you add the hot water.   Do you drink it straight away? No, of course not. You take a teaspoon and you stir. The ingredients need to be mixed properly, giving a full flavoured experience all the way to the bottom of the cup.   I believe that every person, including you, has everything necessary for life and leadership already in their cup. What's needed is for someone to stir your capacity, so that you realise the fullness of who you really are, and to permeate you with falvourful life and leadership throughout your cup.   My message as the teaspoon is to stir your potential into track record. Although the focus of this blog, and my message, is aimed at leadership development - leadership and personal development are synonymous.   The leader must answ...

Get out of the box Part 5 - Fear of Failure.  We've briefly looked at three sides of the box that keeps us in complacency. Surprisingly, the emphasises in the last side is not on failure, but on the fear of that failure.   If I asked you: "What's the opposite of success," are you likely to answer with: "failure"? Most people would, and why not? That's what we've been taught.   We have, however, seen in this series that Thomas Edison, with his ten thousand attempts at making the light bulb, doesn't regard failure as the opposite of success, but rather, he sees failure as a necessary part of the path to success. Many great people from history share Edison's view of failure.   So, what would Edison and his illustrious group of powerful friends regard as the opposite of success? The answer is "fear."  By way of simple definition, success means "satisfactory completion of a goal, task or action." Success is the happy...