The importance of using values to make decisions

Making decisions can be tough. From small decisions, such as what to have for breakfast, to life-changing decisions, like which career path to take or whether to start a family, making choices can be stressful. Our choices can have a significant impact on our lives, and it’s essential to make informed and thoughtful decisions that align with our values and beliefs.

One way to make decision-making easier is by using your values as a guide.

What are values?

Values are the ethical and moral principles that an individual deems important and holds dear. They influence the decision-making process and shape the behaviours and actions of individuals. Values can be intrinsic, meaning they are an inherent part of an individual's personality, or they can be learned and developed through personal experiences and cultural, societal, or religious influences.

Values are an essential aspect of an individual's identity and play a crucial role in guiding decision-making and behaviour. Identifying and using values as a guide can help people make informed and mindful decisions that align with their goals and aspirations, leading to a fulfilling and authentic life.

The Benefits of Using Your Values to Make Decisions

Using your values to make decisions has numerous benefits. When you use your values as a guide, you're more likely to make choices that align with who you are and what you believe in, which can bring a sense of peace and contentment.

For example, if one of your core values is honesty, you'll be more likely to make decisions that are truthful, even if the situation is difficult. Making decisions based on values can help you build stronger relationships with others and foster a sense of trust.

Using your values to make decisions can help you stay focused on what's truly important to you. In a world that's full of distractions and competing priorities, it's easy to lose sight of what matters most. By using your values as a guide, you can stay true to your path and make choices that are in line with your goals and aspirations, offering a sense of clarity and direction in your life.

Using your values to make decisions can also help you build a sense of self-awareness and personal growth.

When you take the time to reflect on your values, you become more aware of what's most important to you.

Reflection and identification of values can help you develop a greater understanding of yourself and what you want out of life. As a result, you may find yourself making more thoughtful and intentional decisions that align with your values and bring you closer to your goals.

The Consequences of Ignoring Your Values

When you make decisions that are not aligned with your values, you may experience a sense of unease or discontentment because your choices are not in line with who you are and what you believe in. Ignoring your values can lead to regret and missed opportunities. For example, if one of your core values is adventure, but you consistently make safe choices, you may miss out on exciting experiences that could enrich your life.

Conclusion

Your values are an essential part of who you are, and they can help guide you through life's tough decisions. When you use your values to make choices, you're more likely to make decisions that align with your goals and aspirations.

Conversely, ignoring your values can lead to regret and missed opportunities. So, the next time you're faced with a tough decision, take some time to reflect on your values and use them as a guide. You may be surprised at how much easier decision-making can be.

Remember, your values are unique to you, and they can help you create a life that is authentic and fulfilling.

Come visit the website: www.johnusher.com for more blog articles and podcasts.

Similar efforts produce similar results

 Coaching Toolbox - Similar effort produces similar results.

People want an instant "change-now" wand so that they don't have to put in extra effort to get the results they long for. They want hacks and tricks to change their habits to something that will bring them never-ending success and wealth without the sweat of changing their behaviours, mindsets or attitudes. They want to put in the same effort and actions but get better results. This expectation defies the natural laws of the universe, but people still expect it to happen.

Read the whole article here: 

https://www.mindmuttermatters.com/post/similar-effort-produces-similar-effort

Experience has structure

 Get the inside information on coaching tips and tricks. This article shares how experience has structure and how you can use that information to change your world in a meaningful and sustainable way.

https://www.johnusher.com/post/experience-has-structure

4 Reasons People Stagnate

 

"You're procrastinating!"

How many times has someone said this to you? How often have you said it to yourself?

You know it's true at some level, but somehow it doesn’t feel like procrastination. It's not that you are putting off what you need to do, it's more like you don't know what to do.

You searched the internet for advice to overcome procrastination because you feel obliged to and hoped to find solutions. You downloaded stuff and worked to overcome it, but oh my goodness, nothing seems to work.

So, here's a thought, if all of the remedies you use fail to bring relief, maybe you are not procrastinating. Maybe you have stagnated. Yes, there is a difference.

The techniques to overcome procrastination will certainly not address stagnation. What's worse is that the anti-procrastination advice will probably make the stagnant individual feel depressed and anxious.

The two traits look the same on the surface, but you will notice they are different once you start analysing them.

People procrastinate when they know what they need to do but avoid doing it. We dodge the tasks we hate doing, such as visiting the dentist. We put off responsibilities that have potential negative impacts, such as completing a tax return.

Stagnation is different. People stagnate when they don't know how to move forward. They do pointless chores because they are at a loss, unaware of tasks needed to take them to the next level.

We procrastinate when we know what we are supposed to do, and the use of deadlines ensures we will do it...eventually. Procrastination is overcome by self-discipline, but stagnation requires a different level of introspection, research, honesty and personal development to overcome.

Once we have looked at the apparent differences, we understand why the advice to resolve procrastination cannot work for stagnation. To offer effective advice to someone that is stuck we need to investigate the cause of their stagnation.

Here are four origins of stagnation:

1. You don't know what you want.

The most common response in coaching sessions to the question, "What do you want," is a detailed list of what people DON’T want.

"That's nice, Bob. Now, please tell me what DO you want." People don't know what they want from life and they don't know where to go, so they stagnate. Until you define what you want and where you want to go, you will stay in the same place.

People avoid selecting a destination for many reasons:

- repeated or intense disappointment has eroded their hope

- they don't feel worthy of success

- people are unaware of their capabilities and embrace mediocrity

- they believe they need the right qualifications or resources before they start

- they are afraid of the unknown

- they are scared to fail

Great! Now that you have identified what is holding you back, you can address it and move on.

The fact is; the destination will define the path. If you have no destination, there can be no path. Pick a destination, an outcome, a goal … pick something, and the path to get there will become clear.

2. You know what you want but you don't know how to get there

To show the route on a GPS, it needs to know where you are and where you want to go. The device will detect your current location, then plot the path to the desired destination - and away you go. Simple.

So, if you have a destination but don't know how to get there, ask yourself if you know where you are starting. A little introspection allows our Vision-GPS to locate our position on the map, which is needed to plan the route to success.

Take stock of where you are, who you are, where you have been and what you have. This process will highlight what you have to achieve the outcome, and it will point out what you are missing or need to move forward.

3. You're wrong about where you are in the process

"Oh, but John, I know where I am, but I still don't know what to do next."

There are two possible reasons for your dilemma, you are wrong about your current location, or you are unclear about the destination. Both reasons are a result of poor clarity.

People have lied to me in coaching sessions about their qualifications or life experience to look better or … ja, I don't know.

You need brutal honesty and clarity about both where you are and where you want to go. If you are unclear about either the start or end, you will stagnate. Seek clarity.

4. You have resigned yourself to the circumstances

This origin produces many excuses, such as:

- I don't have the resources to do it

- I am not in the correct position to do it

- It's not the right time

- I am too busy at work

- My relationship doesn't allow it

- I am comfortable where I am

- I don't want to make the effort

Whatever the excuse, you have accepted your circumstances. Allowing your circumstances to dictate your life … well, there is not much I can say about it except – it is a choice you made. Until you choose something else for your life, you will remain stagnant.

To encourage better choices, maybe you should define an attractive alternative future – really attractive! Plan something so beautiful that you willingly give up your status quo to pursue this new destination.

Whatever the cause of your stagnation, recognising its origin is the first step to help yourself out of the hole. The second step is planning how to move forward. The third step is to put your plan into action – do it!

Why we walk in Darkness

 

We walk in darkness to cloak our brokenness, but the light is calling.

Trauma, rejection and scarcity aren't just events in our history, but they are evil alchemists too. This nasty trio turns your mental juices into depression, makes your heart circulate bitterness, and turns your hope to expect only failure - for one reason only - to keep you in the dark.

We mistakenly believe that darkness is our friend and will tend to our wounds, but the darkness only lets them fester.

Darkness keeps us separated from others too, just in case someone points out our weakening state and offers real help, real solutions, real love.

It's in light that we find healing.

It is in light that we discover our worth.

Yes, I know that those that hand a hand in breaking you claimed to represent the light. But it remains, in their brokenness, their attempts to help you failed. Forgive them.

Forgive them and seek your wholeness. We can't find it by night. We find it in the light.

We find our healing by sharing, by connecting, by listening, and by offering up what remains of our soul to love others, deeply and without restriction.

Oh, this is the opposite to what you have been told, contrary to logic. Isolation, defences and polarization are the techniques used by the darkness to keep you angry, to keep you invisible, to ensure you remain broken.

Darkness wants you to believe that your brokenness allowed your purpose and value to leak out, and drain away.

It is when we embrace the foolish light of giving love, time and an ear to others around us that we discover the miracle of harvesting what we have sown. Pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing, people will give, they offer healing, will listen, cooperate, and will love.

The Light is calling. In her left hand is courage, and in her right hand is providence. It is time to exit the darkness and to embrace Light and all that she has for you.