There are many factors that generate and affect our
behaviour as humans. Our age has a role to play in our behaviour and attitudes.
Gender also has a role to play in the way a person behaves. The basics
behaviour generators in people also include: Culture, Religion, Social
Economics, Health and Education. The importance of these factors in our lives
is born out of / comes from our very core - Values and Beliefs.
Values and beliefs are the very foundation of the behaviour
that we see in ourselves and the people that surround us. Company and business
behaviour is also generated by core values and basic beliefs. This is to say
that: What we have and what we are as people or as a company - is a direct
result of our values and our beliefs. Our lives are the sum total of what we
hold true because of our values and beliefs.
It is no wonder that personal and business development
programs focuses on understanding and upgrading of values and adjusting
beliefs. Every book, course and program on success or personal development I
have engaged in has dealt with personal values and beliefs as the essence of
making change and gaining personal/business success. Self Development books
courses and programs vary in their ability to communicate values and beliefs
and the importance of understanding thereof to the readers. Some courses are
long, some are quick and to the point. It seems every author, course presenter
and life coach has clicked into the importance of values and beliefs
independently or through their own training, but this fact remains - it
always returns to values and beliefs.
Simply put, our values and beliefs are responsible for where
we live, our ambition and the success thereof, who we get into relationships
with, how those relationships progress, the type of clothes we wear, friends
and foes, our car, how we raise our children, how we educate ourselves and what
we educate ourselves in, where we have our home, how we decorate the place we
live and our business concerns. The list of areas affected by our values and
beliefs can be summed up into three words - ALL OUR BEHAVIOUR!
My experience has been that people have a
"hit-and-miss" understanding of their values and beliefs. People have
great success in certain areas of their lives, yet they have dismal failure in
other areas. I have discovered that people isolate the success areas in their
life. They have no idea how to allow that success to affect and flow throughout
their life. When the success is isolated in this manner, it does not improve
their over-all success in life. It can sometime even result in stress in other
aspects of life (think about people that work all the time because they are
happy and confident in that area of life.)
So, what are values? What are beliefs? Let me start
answering these questions by telling you what they are not! Values are not
jewels, not the cash in your hand, not the house you live in. It is not the
valuables that can be considered things of value. I understand that
definition of the word "value", but that is not what we will cover
here. Even though the beliefs will be influenced by your religious beliefs, we
deal with more than just theology in this process. These beliefs are not just
what you believe about God and your spirituality. We will not look at the
existence of aliens, ghosts or any other paranormal activity.
Okay, so what are values? Your values are the things that
you believe are important in the way you live and work. They (should) determine
your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell
if your life is turning out the way you want it to. These values have often
been set in place by life experiences and events that have affected your emotions
in some way. These emotional situations result in us forming certain opinions
about the results we received. These events that impact our emotions cause
"outcome statements" to form in our minds. When supported by two or
more events that give us the same outcome - a belief is formed.
Here's an example: At the start of my last year in
school I walked into the class to meet a new mathematics teacher. The
rumour was that matric (last year at school) maths was insanely difficult.
Understandably, I was apprehensive. First test we wrote in the new teachers'
class I got 2%. I was shocked and disappointed. My mathematic career in school
had been above average till that point. The information swirling in my head was
- I can't do matric maths! The second and third tests we did in that class were
equally disastrous. What had been just a swirl of emotions and concerns that I
could not do matric maths was now a reality! Well, a reality for me. I failed
maths in my first term.
I was fairly good at maths to start with, but the failures
caused thoughts of doubt.
Those thoughts mixed with the emotions caused by the failure
created an emotionally held opinion (or an outcomes statement) - I can't do
maths! - accepted as true for me. Fortunately everyone in the same year had the
same problem. The school recognised that there may be an issue with the new
teacher, and the second term the teacher was replaced. I struggled in the maths
class that year. I struggled because of my belief that I couldn't do maths. I
worked hard. I took extra classes. At the end of the year I got a respectable
pass mark of a B. On seeing that report card I knew the value of
"persistence" had paid off. I have now changed my belief about my
maths ability, but I have maintained a tenacious attitude about persistence
that is a major part of my internal make-up today.
A Belief is when someone thinks something is reality, true,
when they have no absolute verified foundation for their certainty of the truth
or realness of something. A value is neither positive nor negative. How we
apply that value to our lives, what we belief about that value will determine
if that value is beneficial to our desired outcome or not. We can have beliefs
that support our values that are detrimental to the manner in which we apply
that value. Our beliefs can limit our efforts; can inhibit our potential in a
manner that keeps us living in mediocrity. Take a look at my belief about my
capacity for numbers - For a whole year I struggled to achieve the results I
wanted.
Often the greatest obstacles to our development are not the
ones we encounter in our environment, but the obstacles we encounter in our
hearts and minds. Understanding our values and being aware of our beliefs
around those values can unlock our potential and release our ability to achieve
success in all areas of our life. Ask yourself two Questions: Firstly ask -
What are my Values? Secondly - What do I believe about the value? These two
questions help us on the greatest adventure of all - the discovery of self, and
answering these two questions helps us fulfil Plato's plea "Know
thyself!"
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