Needy Leader – The Flip Side

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Needy Leader – The Flip Side

AVOID being a NEEDY Leader (part 2)

The needy leader forms one leg of the Drama Triangle. What is the Drama Triangle? The needy leader creates drama by viewing all the people that surround him or her in one of two categories – Victim or Persecutor as discussed in Part 1. Below is a Drama Triangle Diagram:












Working from a low sense of self worth, the leader develops a co-dependent mentality. This type of leader wants the team to revolve around him or her. This mentality is what makes this leader different from a healthy leader.

In action, there is little difference between a needy leader and a healthy leader. Both will seek to solve problems. Both will face challenges. Both will be ambitious. Both will have influence. Both desire success.  We already know that the needy leader functions from co-dependency and will selfishly seek the praise and glory. Is there a triangle for the healthy leader?

Yes, there is a “drama triangle” for the healthy leader called the “growth triangle” as in the diagram below:







In the diagram you can see the Leader becomes a coach, viewing people as either Survivors or as Challengers. When viewing people as survivors, you don’t take away responsibility for their growth and development. In fact, you place that responsibility squarely in their hands. The healthy leader offers advice, points the survivor in the right direction and allows them to heal, grow and develop at their own pace.

The Challenger no longer becomes the object of the leader’s blame. Rather, the leader takes note of the challenges and obstacles and grows to correct, improve and overcome them. The challenger is not accused, but is thanked for presenting growth opportunities.

The healthy leader moves away from a co-dependent mentality to favour an inter-dependent attitude: Recognise each person is unique with their own skills set and personality, and we require one another to function in the role each plays in order to get the job done.

Listed below are some characteristics that will help you identify the healthy leader:

·         Looks to give praise and recognition for work well done

·         Seeks to find solutions and offer guidance for work poorly done

·         Learns from mistakes  

·         Easily thanks others for their contribution

·         Are inspired by skilled people to help grow their position

·         Embrace technology to streamline the process

·         Delegates easily and fairly

·         Shares  the limelight with the team

·         Are focused on empowering rather than controlling

·         Become the obstacle to the teams growth – and recognises it, and works at improving

·         Control the team by processes rather than by rules

·         Will inspire rather than threaten

·         Want to be the secret advisor in someone’s success, and not the hero in the rescue story

·         Introduces the team to a host of inspirational people

·         Guides team to resources

To remain a healthy leader takes humility, courage and openness. The leader must surround himself/herself with a great inner circle and continuously work on personal development. In order to become great a leader must subject him/her self to a habit of learning, self examination and results evaluation. When used often in the kitchen, your favourite knife will become blunt, just as a leader will dull and will require sharpening to remain on the leading edge.




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