Hello My Heart, Part 2

Another Self Indulgent Post by John Usher

Uncle Ben phoned me before eight this morning.  I thought it unusual and was concerned. I stepped out of the occupied training room and answered the call. "If you don't talk to her today, I will find her and tell her what a fool you are," boomed his stern voice.

"You read the blog!" I started to laugh.

Yesterday, I published an article on the 'dragon whisperer' that walked into my life on Monday and melted my iced heart. I have foolishly clung onto the single life for years because I have been too afraid to feel, to get hurt or to be rejected. With an aching heart now awake and proud, I feel stupid about all my bravado talk on howu great it is being lonely. It isn’t great. This week I decided - it sucks.  

The beautiful girl that delivered the shock of life to my world has been in my training room all week, and I have been professional (fancy talk for scared) and not told her how I felt. Recently having listened to the 5 Second Rule, I could hear Mel Robbins in my head saying "5, 4, 3, 2,1, go talk to her, John." I almost did on Thursday morning, then I realised she was in her early thirties, possibly too young to date me. Yes, I know, a cowardly excuse at best.

All of Thursday and late into the evening I deliberated in my own head whether I should talk to her or not. It was in that frame of mind that I wrote the article of how my heart jolted into life. I reasoned that I am just happy I can feel again, and if nothing comes of flirting with Melodi, then at least I have hope again, for which I can thank her. How ridiculous does that sound? Hahaha

Having just woke up to the world again, I wasn’t sure if I would actually talk to her today. Enter Uncle Ben and his early phone call. He politely but firmly advised me to take action. So, sternly warned and armed with the 5 second rule, Uncle Ben and Mel Robbins, you will be glad to know, I had a second and final chance today. It was the end of the course, and I needed to tell her or risk never seeing her again.  

Sadly, the response was not what I had imagined,  but maybe what I expected. In an instant she changed my world, and now, she is forever gone. Disappointed at the outcome, I am glad Ben phoned. I think regret of not taking a chance would have driven me insane.  So, now it's - head up, smile pasted and I walk into the future with "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, who wants to be my friend?"

Read all 100 posts as they are published...